Welcome to Day 1 of the Spanking Blog Challenge.


So what is an Alpha Male? Is he a big, brawny man that makes other men back away from him? No, I don’t think so. There are alpha males that aren’t big and brawny.

Is he the kind of guy who pushes his way through a crowd of people to get where he’s going? No, that’s not it either. That would just be rude. An alpha male has self-confidence and he doesn’t have to push his way through. He can simply walk through a crowd saying, “Pardon me,” or “Excuse me,” and the people will let him pass.

alpha male

So what qualities are these that make both men and women recognize the alpha male when they meet him? Self-confidence is probably the main one but should not be confused with cocky. The alpha knows what he wants and he usually gets it. But he gets what he wants without being a bully, without lying and cheating, without stealing and hurting other people. There’s an aura about the alpha male that make others recognize that he is a leader, this is someone who can solve the problem, this is someone who will step in and take charge of the situation and make sure it is handled efficiently.

The alpha male is strong. Not necessarily physically strong (though many are) but mentally strong.  They’re ambitious and want to win all challenges. There’s a certain charisma about them that draws women to them.  And not just women, but other men. People like a leader and let’s face it, most people are followers, not leaders.

He’s not weak, arrogant, or conceited. He may be vain, he may be proud, he may be tolerant. But tolerant doesn’t mean he’ll take your crap. He’ll listen to your ideas and if they’re good ones, he may choose to use them. But if he doesn’t see the value in your ideas or plans, he’ll come right out and say so.

Of course, all alphas don’t display all of the same characteristics. What about your man? Which of these traits does he have?

Be sure to visit the other blogs joining in this challenge. I know, there’s a lot of them. Still, pop in on the ones you have time for. I know you’ll be glad you did!

16 thoughts on “A is for ALPHA MALES

  1. Hi Holla, I like your post! For me, the key I think is intelligence. If that’s not there, doesn’t matter about the physical! Intelligent, tender hearted, firm handed and then add in good looking and wow wow wow!! :)

    • Thanks, Natasha! You are so right about intelligence. Without that there’s no point in pursuing anything further! Thanks for the reply.

  2. What a great description of the almost indescribable! It’s not about size or brute force, or bully boy tactics as you say. It’s almost a state of grace!

    • Hey, Tara. I had to think a lot about how to describe an alpha male. It’s a tough description to come up with and everyone has their own list of desirable traits (and undesirable traits.)

  3. I think each person has their own “visual” or “imagination” of what the Alpha Male is to them. What I may desire, another may not. Great excerpt!

    • Thanks, Rayanna! I’m so looking forward to reading all the other blogs and I’m sneaking in a little time right now. I have family visiting for a few weeks and time is so short with a houseful of people.

  4. Good post, Holla! It made me think about qualities we seek in a leader. All those you mentioned, and maybe intuition, and honesty. Definite honesty or integrity (different yet the same, right?) Plus a sense of humor I think. From a guys POV, that is. (I hope the guy in the picture isn’t your hubby because it looks like a Barbie doll to me, Ken was his name, right? He is my Ken.)

    • That is definitely NOT my husband, Han! I’m glad to get a guy’s opinion. I agree that honesty and integrity are very closely related. I don’t think you can have one without the other. And humor is very important; without humor where’s the fun?

  5. Agreed! Confidence is sexy. Arrogance is a huge turn off. Wish more people could figure out the difference. Welcome to the A to Z Challenge. Looking forward to learning more about you this month.

    • I hope I can do the entire challenge, Celeste. With all these visitors, it might get tough. But I’m looking forward to giving it a try.

  6. I like a man who is smart and knows exactly what he wants and needs. I like for him to be firm but also tender. I like for him to protect his woman but take her in hand when the times comes. That’s what I think of when I think Alpha Male. GREAT “A” post Holla:)

  7. Great post, Holla!
    I love the characteristics of an Alpha male.
    Firm, authoritative without being a jerk.
    Compassionate, yet able to hold boundaries
    Integrity – the kind of guy who leads by example


    • Katherine, I cannot tolerate men who are jerks. In fact, I won’t tolerate them at all. Not in any aspect of my life. Not as a boss, or a client, and definitely not as a partner. You’re exactly right. An alpha male leads by example.

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